People go to college for a variety of reasons, as I learned when I taught in several different colleges. The art students were there because of their passion for art. Many community college students attend to get educated in a particular skill such as nursing. But the students I encountered at the state university were often there for their parents’ reasons.
One such young man was enrolled in my English Composition course. He wrote papers that were so dreadful that I asked to speak to him during my office hours. I said that it seemed that he was working to flunk my class. I told him that I spent a great deal of time correcting his writing, but that when he handed back the revised essay the same errors still showed up.
To my amazement, he told me that he was trying to fail my class. Intrigued by his honesty, I asked him why. He said he really wanted to fly a crop duster plane. He had no interest in being in college, but his father told him he had to attend. I asked him if we could make an agreement. I would fail him and he could stop attending class. This would spare me the waste of correcting his writing and spare him the effort of trying to fail. He agreed; I failed him, and I never saw him again.
I still reflect on the folly of demanding that our grown children follow our dreams instead of their own. Perhaps later, when his love of flying waned, he would decide he wanted to study for himself. Perhaps not. But that day that young man met in me an adult who honored his wishes. And I was satisfied that I had heard him.
Saved By Words 
What a good story. I, too, work with college students and their parents. I find myself on the fence with my loyalty to what is good for the student and what is good for the university. Thanks for sharing.
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Towards the end, I was pressured by the administration to keep students in college so that the budget could be met. That bothered me greatly, and I avoided doing it.
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Your post reminds me of my nephew, who refused to attend college, and immediately after high school he began taking helicopter flying lessons. His parent’s were not happy, but I encouraged them to let him make his own decisions. Since then he has flown commercially for many companies here and abroad. Now at about 30 years old, he is a helicopter pilot instructor making a very good living and very much enjoying it.
Wouldn’t it be great to find out what your student did with his life? He may have followed his dream, or he may have found another path. But it’s fortunate that he found someone who would listen.
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Thank you so much for your support with this story. I never knew what happened to many of my students, but I always felt I had heard them.
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It is wrong to impose your wishes and dreams on your children, Elizabeth. I really try not to do this. I recall hearing one mother, whose son was dismally failing maths, say that her son had to continue to take maths as not to do so would close so many university doors for him. My view at the time was were those doors really open. If you really can’t do maths, so people can’t, those doors are closed anyway so why make your child suffer when they can do a lesser form of useful maths which will serve them in life. Doesn’t make sense to me.
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I was saddened by how many parents wanted their children to fulfill their dreams, not the children’s own.
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Interesting
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Yes, so many parents do that, it is really sad.
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Great that his parents wanted him to take class, however I don’t see the point of wasting time and money by failing. Stand up to the parents and say, NO, I’m flying planes. 🙂
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I guess he was too scared to say it and felt he needed to flunk out instead.
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