My husband grew up surfing in the Gulf of Mexico. He loves all things surfing even if he no longer does it outside of wave pools at amusement parks. So he was excited to see the recent Australian movie “Breath.” Usually I check out movies before we go at a web site called “Kids-In-Mind” because there are many things I prefer not to see. The site gives movies ratings for sex, violence and language to allow parents(and me) to decide whether to take their kids. I have found it very useful at alerting me to disturbing parts of movies that I had seen reviewed favorably.
Unfortunately, “Breath” had no review at “Kid-In-Mind,” but I didn’t think a surfing movie would be a problem. As the movie began, it became clear that it was a coming of age movie about an adolescent boy. That was still fine since my husband had come of age himself by surfing. So awkward interactions with a girl classmate, dares from a reckless friend, and silence with his parents all seemed appropriate.
Deeply regrettably, the movie decided that an essential part of a coming of age movie had to involve very explicit intimacy with an older woman. I saw it as sex abuse as I would have seen a similar portrayal of an adolescent girl with an older man. And I am completely uninterested in watching two other people be intimate.(Intimate is not what they were, but that is the g-rated description.)
So consider this your “Kids-In-Mind” review. This is not a surfing movie despite exquisite scenes of waves, the ocean, surfing and Australia. It’s too bad that they couldn’t have left out the abuse. The movie didn’t need it. And neither did I.
Saved By Words 
Remember “Endless Summer” with the Beach Boys music, where some people decided to follow the summer across the globe and surf everywhere? That’s my speed. I don’t like to watch others have sexual contact, especially if it seems inapproppriate or coercive etc. It just doesn’t interest me and isn’t my business, even in a movie–I even skim the Regency romances if they get too hot and heavy in any way other than completely mutually kind and loving, and even then I skim too. *shrug* It’s just not my idea of entertainment or instruction.
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I think we know instinctively that it isn’t our business. The entertainment industry has tried to blunt that reaction in us. Since it had been a very long time since I had been witness to such a scene, my natural sense of avoidance came back.
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I have tried to figure out why I as a viewer might want to see something sexual. It does stimulate some people, but that’s not what I want, and if I had a crush on some actor or actress, I might feel averse to seeing that person be sexual with another. I simply don’t get it, personally, beyond the porn value. On the other hand, if the story tells me about something that may have happened to me and offers solutions for avoiding it or solving it, that may have some value, but I still think that wallowing in the explicit only blunts people’s sensibilities, as you say.
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I am clueless. I always liked the hint that the key players might kiss, but that was all. The rest was left to my imagination which worked better than seeing it on screen. Paul Newman and I had great times together in my mind!!
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ahahah! It’s wonderful to have memories!
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I hadn’t known about that movie review site, but thank you for sharing it. I share your views on what makes for good story telling and what doesn’t.
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I find it very helpful. Watching other people have sex doesn’t have anything to do with most stories. As a friend said, imagine how they would have ruined “Casablanca” with explicit sex.
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So true!
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That is very disappointing, especially being an Australian & one whom worked in the Mental health profession for many years, where the legacy of child sexual abuse was sadly a very real & regular issue I had to address with victims!
I grow tired of movies like this & the hypocrisy of the writers & directors that allow child sexual abuse on screen under the guise of art!
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So many still consider a young boy “lucky” for an older woman’s seduction. Here women high school teachers are starting to be jailed for this behavior, but some still don’t understand why it’s “such a big deal.”
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Yes, sadly it is the same here Elizabeth. 😦
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I grieve for those boys if they realize that they were abused, not valued.
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I had the privilege of walking alongside many, as their therapist, in their healing journeys. They did reach their destinations & have gone onto lead whole lives 😀
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What a joy to hear. As a member of the Catholic Church, I know a young man whose brother committed suicide after his abuse by the priest. I am glad some healed.
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Yes we agree the sex scene has become standard in most movies and many tv shows today. If they were making the “How the west was won” today the studio would insist on a naked sex scene.My cousin Anne told me she enjoyed and loved her husband and fully understood sexual relations and did not need to be reminded how it works every time she went to the movies. >
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And there is nothing particularly interesting about it as a bystander!
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You and I are like minded. I truly do not understand why every movie has to include gratuitous sex, even when not germane to the plot.
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I suppose they think sex sells, not accounting for all of us who would go to more movies without it.
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So much in life is best left private. Thank you for sharing.
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I don’t know what happened to the concept of private in my country. I see many people for instance having loud phone conversations in public about things I consider private.
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