“Is Love Blind?”

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We have all heard the expression “love is blind.” I never took much time to think about that sentence until the last couple of days. As I did so, I realized that love, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse, is often blind.

Many new born babies look like Winston Churchill to the casual onlooker. Their little heads are often squished and sometimes pointed after their perilous journey down the birth canal. Here love blindness comes to the rescue. Every woman I have ever known thought that her new baby was the most beautiful creature ever. One look in those eyes and we were goners. We were surprised that everyone else wasn’t  similarly enamored. Amazingly enough, it turns out that this also rings true for grandchildren. No wonder we show off pictures of the new babies and drive around with bumper stickers proclaiming “Ask Me About My Grandchildren.”

But while blind love paves the way for intense parental connection, it can also be perilous in romantic situations. I was once engaged to a man I thought intellectually deep. I was blind to the truth until a good friend said point blank, “All still waters don’t run deep; sometimes still waters are just still waters.” Thank heavens she broke through my blinders and I called off the engagement.

Worse still is the blindness some people  have towards their addict partners or children. In this case, we call blindness “denial” and are baffled that they can’t see what is so obvious to the rest of us. In the name of love we can refuse to see the truth. True love in  this instance needs to be clear sighted, not blind.

And then there is the blind love that allows us to settle down with one partner, overlooking his or her faults. When we love like that we grant the other the grace to be real, warts and all. So it isn’t really blind after all. We just choose to focus on the good. And if we have chosen wisely we might wonder now and then why everyone doesn’t have a mate as “perfect” as ours.

15 thoughts on ““Is Love Blind?”

  1. That blind love for babies and grandchildren is a mystery to me, as baffling as the origins of the universe. I suppose it is just as well, as many of those ‘Winston babies’ might otherwise be abandoned simply for their repulsive appearance. When I delivered babies, as an EMT, I usually suggested the name ‘Winston’ to the proud mother, due to the uncanny resemblance. They never got the ‘joke’.

    I remember a friend settling down with a woman we knew who was not considered to be remotely attractive. Even her own brother declared that she “Had been beaten with the ugly stick”. When they announced their wedding, we shook our heads, and many muttered “He could do so much better”. But he had seen the character behind her outward appearance, and they remained devoted and happy, with her being a perfect partner.
    It wasn’t that he was blind to her looks, just that he could see so much more than the rest of us.
    Best wishes, Pete.

    1. Blind love for babies is indeed a mystery, but as you point out it ensures their life. Glad you got the Winston connection even if the new moms didn’t. I am always surprised as I get to know someone I once thought unattractive they seem to get more attractive. Probably true for your friend.

  2. Maybe blind in the sense that you overlook those things which are sometimes so annoying about your partner because you care. In the general sense though, I don’t think it is.

  3. Ohhhhhhhh Ms.Elizabeth, this is so true. I think I am always so watchful when it comes to how people are treated especially when they are blinded by “love”. I have seen blind love and have lived it when it comes to my dad. For years I chose to let him stay in my life even after he watched me get abused by my step mom over and over. I wanted to find the good in him. I allowed myself to just stay hoping for a change. Staying hurts way more. Great words.

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