“Change The Things I Can”


In a time of great uncertainty, sometimes it feels as though the only thing I have the ability to change is my clothing! The serenity writing cited yesterday continues as the writer asks for the “courage to change the things I can.” Clearly there are more things I can change when faced with the pandemic, but sometimes it is hard to think of what they might be.

As I wrote yesterday, the biggest change I have had to make has been to detach from most of the national news. This did take a degree of courage, since it activated FOMO(fear of missing out) in me. FOMO has a firm grasp on American culture with many of us desperately trying to never miss any bit of news. However, like restricting children from eating all of their Easter candy because they will become sick, I have had to restrict my viewing for the same reason.

I have also had to provide more structure to my daily life than I had previously considered. Retirement had freed me from the set academic schedule that controlled my life for so many years. I loved now getting to decide to go out for a meal instead of cooking a time or two a week. Nothing fancy, just someone else’s cooking. Since the places are all closed I have accepted making dinner every night. That change required less courage, but it has been significant nonetheless.

I have also had to confess that I am much less together than I like to pretend. As a self-sufficient oldest child, I patented the “I have got this” approach to life. My alter ego, “go getter,” needed little help and always offered help to others. But I have major ups and downs during this disease outbreak. It takes courage for me to be vulnerable, but I can change and connect with people around me from weakness as well as from strength.

Tomorrow I face the challenge of knowing which is called for, acceptance or change.

23 thoughts on ““Change The Things I Can”

  1. This current situaton has my mind in a spin. The behaviour of so many people has appalled me, to the extent that I wonder if we actually deserve to survive the virus. But then I see the selfless actions of emergency workers and nurses, and it gives me hope. Just a little hope though.
    Best wishes, Pete.


  2. I think with anything new there is a certain amount of time to process the whole thing. With most things in life, we can fixate at a specific point in time to help motivate us. (e.g. four weeks until vacation) The problem with this is there is nothing we can hang our hat on. We finished the fifteen days of stopping the spread and the reward is thirty more days. What happens when we get to the end of April?

    I think we’re doing the right things, but I do not want to see people begin to get complacent when the number of deaths starts declining. One day at a time is definitely the right approach when dealing with the unknown.


  3. I too have felt vulnerable. It’s particularly challenging since this virus has many of the same symptoms as the cold, flu, and allergies that are common this time of year. Add to that the political mess in this country and it can really get me down! But I do my best to maintain peace within – quiet times in the morning – getting out in the fresh air as much as possible – and remembering that this too shall pass.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is worrisome whenever I accidentally read about some person’s experience with the virus and they had ordinary cold or allergy symptoms. My paranoia is only a little under the surface sometimes.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Indeed very perceptive. I can flip from the calmest serenity to frantic panic in a headline. Very un-me and not a little disorienting. Its been allowing the children to take charge- they do our shopping and walk Dog most days that has helped.


  5. I’m the self sufficient only child who grew up away from their parents. Am I worse or better? I don’t know. πŸ˜… I also have the “I’ve got” this outlook.

    My business looks likes it’s going to become one of the COVID-19 casualties, but I’m hanging in there. I am always calm in the face of turmoil. I do my hair tearing afterward.

    Delaying an emotional response was a skill I mastered in my teens. I find that difficult emotions are easier to confront when the source is gone and I can pull them apart objectively at that time.

    For now, I’m keeping the solution mindset. Trying to change what I can and preparing for the things I can’t.

    Hang in there!


      1. I’ve actually been doing good with the delayed emotions, so far. I haven’t hit breaking point just yet. My business hasn’t sunken yet, but revenue is slipping and I lost both my biggest and my smallest client. I try not to dwell. I try to spend the time looking at solutions instead: buy life insurance, apply for disaster relief loan, cut back on spending to bolster savings, revise my 2020 plans possibly to 2021, etc. I find planning to be therapeutic in a way I guess. It gives me the feeling that I’m doing something and I have a few courses of action to follow no matter what happens. Also, of course, mom is delighted that I might be stuck here for another year with her, if the projections are as they say it will be.


        1. Not a soul more happy than she is at present. She’s been begging me to stay for another 2 years before heading out west. With the economic effect the disease is having, she might get her wish!

          Stay safe!


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