I am going to explore for a while what civil discourse might mean in this time of such acrimony and division that exists in the United States at the moment. I hope that the discussion will help me engage in the world around me with less fear and more grace.
Geese all squawk at once. I turn to look at the sky sometimes because of the racket which is coming from a group of geese flying over. Maybe they can tell one voice from another, but I can’t. The same phenomenon occurs nightly on talk shows. Notice that they aren’t called “listen” shows or even “listen and talk shows.” Voices interrupt each other, talk over each other, ignore each other, and call it a discussion.
Yesterday a young man from church commented that God had given us two ears and one mouth. He suggested that the proportion of talking and listening was pretty clearly demonstrated on our own heads.
Listening takes time. Listening, pondering before a response and then responding takes even more time. I try to imagine a “talk” show with bits of silence between questions and answers. We act as if the quickest answer is the best, when we know full well that most questions demand thought. Reacting comes quickly; thought takes time. Emotions respond to reactions. Reactions intensify emotions. Soon we are indistinguishable from that flock of geese.
May we consider taking a breath before answering a question. May we consider letting the other person take a breath, too.
Saved By Words 
Excellent advice! Sometimes I think people just don’t know how to listen. It’s actually a skill, learned over time and requiring practice. I don’t really enjoy people or talk shows where it’s all one-way. Not much fun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it really helps to have it modeled. I think it is hard to see it in practice right now. It seems to me that David Frost and William Buckley actually talked and listened. I am not sure about that, but I think that was the case.
LikeLike
Notice how when someone actually pauses before they speak it gets your attention.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had not noticed that. I will be on the lookout for that. Thanks.
LikeLike
So wise. I shall enjoy following your thoughts on this subject, Elizabeth. It’s just as relevant here as it is with you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t realize that. Is it because of the Brexit issue?
LikeLike
That’s certainly one example!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a great way to look at it. We have become so ‘busy’ and distracted day to day. I am introverted so I tend to pause when speaking and my fast talking city husband assumes my ‘pause’ means I am done with my thoughts and now it’s his turn. I am going to remind him he has 2 ears. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I actually hold my hand up sometimes to let someone know I am still thinking of an answer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, I hadn’t thought to do that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Works for us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Strangely my mom was making the same comment about talk shows just yesterday, Elizabeth. Listening helps us solve problems and understand others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your mom and I are about the same age and have good memories about actual interviews on television.
LikeLike