After trying unsuccessfully to get cable service to connect with our new television set, I called Comcast. After literally yelling at the automated answering system since none of the choices fit, I was finally connected to a living person. He graciously told me that I had a “legacy” set box and that it wouldn’t work with the new television.
I began to think of the variety of euphemisms I have run into in the last few years that are being substituted for old, over the hill and outdated. I guess some younger person is treading carefully around my age demographic, hoping to avoid hurting our feelings. My husband’s Levis are called “Classic.” My sweater is referred to as “Heritage.” Other carefully chosen words include “original,” and “time honored.” My own pants have what is called a “Relaxed Fit,” to distinguish them from the offering of “Modern Fit.” Here clearly the title is meant to cushion the blow of realizing that my body is now “relaxed,” rather than “modern.”
So in effect I had an old television set box, looked at by my husband in his old Levi’s and me in my old pants using an analog wristwatch and waiting for the timer on the counter to ding. It’s all right. I can accept that I like to keep things the way they are without being “new” or “improved.”