“Euphemisms For Old”

After trying unsuccessfully to get cable service to connect with our new television set, I called Comcast. After literally yelling at the automated answering system since none of the choices fit, I was finally connected to a living person. He graciously told me that I had a “legacy” set box and that it wouldn’t work with the new television.

I began to think of the variety of euphemisms I have run into in the last few years that are being substituted for old, over the hill and outdated. I guess some younger person is treading carefully around my age demographic, hoping to avoid hurting our feelings. My husband’s Levis are called “Classic.” My sweater is referred to as “Heritage.” Other carefully chosen words include “original,” and “time honored.” My own pants have what is called a “Relaxed Fit,” to distinguish them from the offering of “Modern Fit.” Here clearly the title is meant to cushion the blow of realizing that my body is now “relaxed,” rather than “modern.”

So in effect I had an old television set box, looked at by my husband in his old Levi’s and me in my old pants using an analog wristwatch and waiting for the timer on the counter to ding. It’s all right. I can accept that I like to keep things the way they are without being “new” or “improved.”

34 thoughts on ““Euphemisms For Old”

  1. I’m with you. I rather have older things, and depend on them. You never know with modern electronics if the next time you turn it on, will be the last performance of that item.


  2. I don’t want to change when what I have works perfectly for me. I bought my mobile phone in 2003 and it still works. I use maps not apps. I don’t do streaming. I don’t want connecting to anything. And I used to work in computing and have been using email since 1986.


  3. And here is what I am trying to do, which requires (I think) some tech savvy. I have a CD of songs that I want to add to my music that is stored on my Apple computer, phone, etc. There is no CD player in the computer…

    I want devices to have an on/off button and nothing more. Zoom is not my friend. I digress. It must be my relaxed jeans.🙂


  4. I favor old things with fewer gadgets. I love the technology of my Apple devices, but my washing machine and dryer are “old school”. I even like the sound of a record playing…


  5. This made me smile! Doing triathlon etc. I became a ‘veteran’ (vet) at 50 – at 60 next year I shall be vintage. Even less euphemistically, as an older mother apparently I was ‘geriatric’… I must admit I quite like to think of myself as ‘vintage’ but geriatric just sounded OLD


  6. even though “vulnerable” isn’t related to age – it’s worse word I’ve come across of late to do with c/19 and to me to suddenly find that my absolutely normal-2-me & well controlled “health issues put me into the lock down category of “vulnerable health issues” …. I still can’t grasp it.

    and then in the next breath, the public transport must have an QR code because it appears many users in Auckland are not using a registered AT-card. Never mind the fact that I know someone (old/grumpy/bugger) who won’t register their card, because they don’t have access to a computer and certainly doesn’t have a smartphone or the app to tap the QR code with either…

    I checked my AT-card and I’m all uptodate, and I do have the app on my phone but have no idea if it works as I’ve not gone anywhere where I’ve needed to tap the QR code.


  7. Even while your post makes me smile, it also reminds me that I have a number of “legacy,” or “old school” items around my home that still work but that the new technologies want to make obsolete! That’s one of my pet peeves.


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