By the next and last time that Aunt Cary came to visit us in Oregon, something seemed different. I was about to enter high school and was pretty occupied with myself, but still felt an unwelcome sense of unease some of the time I spent with her. She stayed awake most of the night then slept late in the morning. She talked faster and seemed restless in a way I somehow unconsciously noticed. Only in looking back now can I clearly describe what I experienced then. At the time the only awareness I had was that she and my mother argued a lot about her sleeping pattern. In retrospect I don’t think my mother understood what was happening either.
For a break from the tension and a treat for my aunt, she, my mother and I went to the Oregon Coast for two nights. Above is a photo I love of Aunt Cary at Cannon Beach that September of 1961. Fortuitously enough, I “became a woman” the first evening. Who better than Aunt Cary who whooped, opened a bottle of sherry and toasted my maturation? My practical mother went to the store for supplies. I needed them both that time.
The next time I saw her was in Chicago on my way to college in 1965. She was a patient in the Illinois State Hospital, in a locked ward, deeply depressed and unkempt. I was heart sick to see her in such pain. Still she grinned at me and in true Aunt Cary fashion said “You look quite collegiate.” I felt blessed once again.
Saved By Words 
Such a shame what happened to Cary. I’m sure I’m a little bit in love with your aunt, Elizabeth.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I will post one last photo which may encourage that feeling.
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Already encouraged. Job done. 🙂
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It will be tomorrow. Am assembling a collage of sorts.
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Oh wow. This was unexpected. I do hope she got help and there’s a happy ending to the story.
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I am afraid help wasn’t available then.
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So sad. But I’m happy for the time you had together and that she still has a special place in your heart.
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Absolutely.
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I felt concerned that it would throw readers and regret that it did. Sadly no. But we have learned so much since then about mental illness that strikes young adults. And we shared a deep love in a short time.
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Hi Elizabeth, I assume that she was suffering from depression during her earlier visit already. Such a great tragedy and people didn’t really know about this illness at that time. It wasn’t something people spoke about.
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No. We really didn’t have a clue.
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Still a lovely lady and very special to you, always. That can never change!
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Absolutely.
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How sad for the loss of your true aunt. As you say, we know more now, but often people still don’t get what help they need. It is good that you have your loving memories to hold on to.
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I believe she was one who would have sought help if she were alive now.
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Thank you for sharing this heartfelt story! ❤️
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You are welcome.
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Oh! Wow. Shocking and painful. You never saw her again. But I know there is more to the story.
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I did see her two more times at least.
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It is so tough to have a mental illness or depression, and I am sure it was harder back in the 1960s. In that photo she looks a bit like me at that age. That is cute how she toasted you with sherry.
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There was no effective treatment for her condition then.
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now if your Aunt was here today, the advances in mental health care would have been her saviour but at least you had her in your earlier life and on the day of your “womanhood”
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Yes. I think of that sad fact often.
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She was also blessed to have your unconditional love and admiration. I am sure it meant a lot to her.
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I certainly hope so.
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So sad. I spent 8 years in the Mental Health field as an investigator and saw the pain families went through.
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More than the people who are ill sometimes. At least for my family.
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Oh, no! Sometimes glamour can mask hidden problems. Please continue with stories of your aunt. Thank goodness you had the best of her.
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