Ordinary Time

~ Elizabeth ~ 1 Comment

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In the Catholic church, the season of Christmas has just ended and we enter into “ordinary time.” On Sunday we celebrated the Feast of the Epiphany, singing the last of the Christmas songs until next year. Now we are back to regular vestments, the creche is put away, the poinsettias have all gone to homes, and we settle into the rhythm of the liturgical year between now and the beginning of Lent on March 1.

Although in the Church “ordinary time” refers to the numbering of weeks, I prefer to ponder the more general use of the word. I think “ordinary” is underrated. Most of our life is “ordinary”: working, cooking, eating, cleaning, caring for children and elders,visiting, praying, and sleeping. Ordinary life is full and rich, how we spend most of our days. It isn’t particularly exciting, and I think that is what makes it precious. We aren’t meant to be jubilant, ecstatic, thrilled and dazzled most of the time, despite advertising’s depictions of life. I don’t sing as I do laundry, nor does my family grin with abundant gratitude over spaghetti. Instead, there is a steady, often predictable movement in family life.

I breathe a sigh of relief when the Church enters into “ordinary time” again. No special prayers, no special music, just the calming hour of prayer and the Eucharist, surrounded by “regular” people who faithfully gather on another Sunday.

“Somewhere I Have Never Traveled”

~ Elizabeth ~ 4 Comments

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When I began to write these entries, I did it to have a chance to speak the truth about the world around me. I didn’t have a central theme, such as cooking or pets or travel, but rather saw the site as an eclectic blend of faith, politics, family stories and reflections on daily life. This continues to be the way I am writing, just trying to stay truthful and encouraging, even in difficult times nationally.

What I had no way of knowing was that I would begin to be read by people around the world. This has brought deep joy into my life. While I have been in almost all of the United States, Canada and Northern Mexico, I have only traveled overseas twice, to Guam in 1973 and to England and France in 1974. There are vast expanses of the world I have never seen, and it is unlikely I ever will.

Instead, I have had the privilege of reading and being read by people in Africa, Europe, Australia, the Middle East, India, Singapore, and the Philippines. I have learned how to use Google Translate which does an adequate job of transforming Portuguese into English. At least I can get the general idea of the post. I have also hauled out maps to find locations I don’t recognize. I have set my weather app to check the temperature in Manila to keep up with one gardener since our growing seasons are so vastly different.

The title of this post is a line from e.e. cummings, the 20th century American poet. I definitely feel that this format has taken me to many places I would never have gone without it. Thanks everyone.

Remembrance of Things Past

~ Elizabeth ~ 5 Comments

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We are finally having some snow here in New England. I caught sight of our picnic table, lawn swing and barbecue grill on the back deck, now coated with the first inches of white. I really enjoy the completely different seasons we enjoy. It is hard to remember that only a few months ago we could sit outside, listening to our outdoor fountain, and cooking over the flames. But the swing cushions are stored and the grill has its cover on. It will be many months before we can enjoy them again.

Meanwhile I sympathize with friends in the deep south of the United States who aren’t used to such cold, ice and snow. They are struggling to stay warm in houses without the storm windows and heavy insulation we enjoy in the north. Their plows are inadequate to deal with the accumulating snow and drivers are struggling to maneuver the streets. Here the town plow rumbles by about every 90 minutes shining its flashing light into our house. I am grateful once again for our public works department keeping things safe and passable. We will probably send them doughnut gift cards again this season.

Meanwhile we stay warm, poring over those seed catalogs which once again arrived just in time to see us through until spring.

 

 

Thanks for the Kudos

~ Elizabeth ~ 8 Comments

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I lovely woman writing at http://mburablog.wordpress.com who currently lives in Dubai nominated me for this versatile blogger award. I have been asked to thank her(more on that in a moment), tell you seven things about myself and recommend at least 15 blogs I enjoy with links to each of them. I am going to do this in two stages since I DO NOT KNOW HOW to link the blogs yet!! Thanks nominator!!LOL.

About me:

  1. I go by the nickname Betsy. I respond to either Elizabeth or Betsy.
  2. I will turn 70 this year which I keep repeating so that I will get used to the fact.
  3. I turned into the kind of grandmother I always said I wouldn’t. The one who talks endlessly about her grandchildren. That’s me.
  4. I was an English professor, so I like commenting on blog entries without having to grade anyone or correct anyone’s spelling.
  5. I have been known to correct the spelling in graffiti on bathroom walls.
  6. I am addicted to the New York Times crossword puzzle. When the paper isn’t here in time for my breakfast I have a little(or big according to my husband)temper fit.
  7. To the horror of my dentist, I love jujubes, a terribly chewy little candy designed to pull your crowns off your teeth.
  8. Apparently I also don’t know how to stop listing things and get back to the left margin! More to follow after I learn how to link those blogs.

Reality Sans Photoshop

~ Elizabeth ~ 7 Comments

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I have a relative who spent a majority of his time alone watching television. He ventured out to a mall one evening and told us he was astonished by how ugly everyone was. After hours of staring at the very unrepresentative world of “celebrity,” “personality,” and “reality television,” his perception of the actual world was warped. He truly believed that ordinary people were ugly, rather than ordinary.

The same thing happens to women my age(69) who are flooded with images of photoshopped women in their 40’s agonizing over lines on their faces. The only images I do see of women my age are botoxed, face-lifted AND photoshopped. It ends up warping my own sense of what women really look like as they age.

The picture is of my great grandmother Jenny at age 60. Her hair is gray and white, her figure is ample, her chin is beginning to sprout another chin. But what I see in this picture is a confident, loving mother of four at home in her very appropriately padded body, her bosom on its gradual way south, as all of ours drift in due time.  She looks welcoming, reliable and wise. That’s a helpful image of an older woman.

Until the culture catches up with the reality of the loveliness of real women, I will treasure the photos of my ancestors and the warm, lined faces of the women who surround me at Mass every Sunday.

“I learn by going where I have to go”

~ Elizabeth ~ 9 Comments

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Theodore Roethke in his poem The Waking wrote the line that titles this post. Presently it seems that all sorts of people are making all sorts of predictions about the future. It will be a total disaster or it will be a stunning success or something in between. In truth, no one knows what the future holds. In May of 1980, Mt. St. Helens, a lovely mountain shaped like an ice cream cone which we saw every day on the horizon, blew its top, spewing ash over miles of Oregon and Washington. I had to scoop heavy lava ash out of my gutters. No one had predicted that, and I certainly had not made the necessary preparations to buy several extra air filters for my car.

Weather forecasters try to accurately let us know what is ahead, but they are frequently wrong. Sometimes they predict mild storms that turn into blizzards, sometimes blizzards that turn into mild flurries. Stocks rise and fall, often unrelated to predictions about the market.

In truth, I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I can do my best to plan, but I have to hold my plans lightly. I know that God is often in the “interruptions” and I need to be mindful that what I think has to happen may be inconsequential. The “interruption” may be the most significant part of my day. As Roethke puts it so well, “I learn by going where I have to go.”

 

Micro Kindness

~ Elizabeth ~ 7 Comments

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Last year I got chicken pox. For the second time. This time it was triggered by getting the shingles vaccine. They give you a list of possible side effects of the shot before you get it, but don’t mention chicken pox because it is a rare side effect. One pox is annoying; two are very annoying; hundreds really take a toll on your disposition and view of the world.

Micro aggressions are like that. For those of you unfamiliar with the word, you may be familiar with the experience. The person who pulls in front of you in traffic nearly crashing into you. The person who cuts the line at the market claiming they only have a few items and you don’t mind do you. But for many people who are a different race, ethnicity or religion from the prevailing one in any community, these micro aggressions have a more destructive effect. The white person who gets off the elevator when a black man steps on it is this kind of micro aggression. Like the chicken pox, one is just annoying, but they have a cumulative dispiriting effect on the recipient.

So I propose practicing micro kindness in the year ahead. Make eye contact with the homeless person on the street corner. Let someone ahead of you in line. Take time to question your reaction to a person who is different from you. Avoid patronizing the person in the wheelchair. Greet the grumpy neighbor. In the picture above I am making a friendly overture to a dog who is potentially a menace, but I don’t seem to notice. The fence provides safety, but I am not running away. I am risking connection. I am going to try it consistently this year. Let me know if you have experiences practicing micro kindness. We can swim upstream against the tide of belligerence, bigotry and aggression.

Peace to all this new year.

Moving Ahead

~ Elizabeth ~ 4 Comments

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Well it certainly looks as if I am greeting 1949 with a good attitude! I am stepping confidently into that new year. I am trying to enter 2017 with as good an attitude, despite the great challenges facing the United States. Certainly despair, hopelessness and a bad attitude are terrible companions on the journey.

May every person around the world I have met during this first six months of this writing have the strength, hope, and courage that you need to meet the new year. I look forward to what each of you brings to my life through your writing and photography. I can’t wait to see what you will bring in the months to come.

Happy 2017. The year I will turn 70!

Exploring the Limits

~ Elizabeth ~ 2 Comments

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When I was three, my mother put a board down on the sidewalk and told me I could go down the street to the board and no farther. You can see here that my reaction was to walk back and forth along the board. I have always been interested in exploring the limits.

We all are limited both by society, culture or our environment. We also, though, limit ourselves in all sorts of ways. Sometimes we are not conscious of the ways we constrain ourselves. I wrote some months ago about beginning to go to the gym so that I could be back in my body after many years away.

At 69, my body did have some inherent limitations. I had not been particularly active for a long time, and my muscles, tendons and ligaments had either gone flaccid(my muscles) or shortened(my ligaments.) I couldn’t throw myself into a strength routine designed for 20 year olds.  I had to go at the pace my body could handle, not at some mythical “get strong quick” rate. I had to ease up when a shoulder squeaked or a knee complained. I had to learn about actual limits.

But it turns out I was also limited by my own sense of my physical capability. Now, two years after beginning personal training(a necessity for me to avoid injury) I am stronger than I thought possible. I can push dumbbells overhead, slam ropes on the ground and shove medicine balls into a wall. Do I resemble the 20 year olds? Not at all. But I am slowly adding weight and repetitions to my routines. Every six weeks, my workout is a little harder. I have no idea what the limit will be in my strength building. I remain open to listening to my body and my trainer and seeing what happens.

Really Listening to Children

~ Elizabeth ~ 6 Comments

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Lately everywhere I go I see adults dragging children around while talking on their cellphones. Sometimes the child is in a stroller, sometimes in a shopping cart, sometimes across the table in a fast food restaurant. The child is there, often talking, and the adult is either talking on the phone, texting on the phone, or looking at the phone.

In this photo,  I am four years old and I have the undivided attention of two family friends. They are taking me seriously. They are each focusing their gaze on me as I talk and they listen. I understood, without being explicitly told, that I mattered. I grew up assuming that what I had to say was important. It might not be well received later in my life–and often it wasn’t–but I held and still hold the conviction that my voice matters.

Children are little for a very short time, no matter how endless it seems when we are mothers to small children. They chatter nonstop, and we often wish for a little silence from them. Ironically enough, when they are older, we long to hear them say anything to us besides the monosyllabic responses of “fine,” “no,” and the extended sentence of “you wouldn’t understand.”

Listen whenever you have a chance. It can be life changing for a child. It was for me.