When I ran across “forbearance” in one list of virtues, I had to think about where I ever heard the word used. For years I had only heard it in terms of bank loans being cancelled. But such an old fashioned sounding word deserved deeper consideration, and I found the definition as “the quality of being patient and being able to forgive someone or control yourself in a difficult situation.” This certainly sounded like a challenging virtue.
I think I find it easier to pretend to control myself in a difficult situation while seething with resentment. Being patient and being able to forgive someone in a disagreement seems more difficult. I have heard resentment described as “anger with a history,” which aptly puts words to that lingering feeling seeking revenge or retribution. I put the picture of me mowing the lawn(without shoes–a dangerous practice) since I am smiling while I was typically completely uninterested in the lawn work. In fact, I imagine I resented having been taken from my reading to help in the yard. I could have used help in understanding that it is possible to do something one resists with patience.
Having spent some time with this virtue(two days in fact) I will remain attentive to the difference between forbearance and resentment. I hope to experience more of the first and less of the second!